Hate is A Strong Word

BODYGUARD (2011)

This film is one of a kind. I have never ever seen anything like this. If you have been watching Bollywood movies since a long time (like me) you must be well aware of a term called 'suspension of disbelief'. Bollywood movies, commercial ones, ask you to suspend every form of disbelief. You need no logic when you watch a product of the glorious industry of Bombay. But Bodyguard is unique. It takes it one step further, it defies everything. Logic, story, characters, visual effects, caricatures, heroes, lovers, villains, dialogues, jokes and action. It even defies suspension of disbelief. No I didn't mean it lacks all these elements. This film tries to single-handedly take up the mammoth task of defying the existence of these elements. Who needs all these things? Audience is a bunch of fools! Why do you need to spend time on these mundane things when you can take two stars and just make a movie and release it on a holiday which will ensure a big opening box office, you will get your money back. Who cares about anything else?

Sure, we've seen a lot of films that follow this ideology. "Let's give the masses what they like". I have always wondered how that works. But somehow, it does. Even I have fallen prey to this ideology as a viewer. I did love Wanted (2009), I even liked Dabangg (2010) and Ghajini (2008). But Bodyguard was unbelievable. I couldn't fathom what I was watching. The first half features an extremely unfunny and extremely large man and some dwarf jokes. All in horribly bad taste. The love story is downright creepy. The bodyguard falls in love with a girl who he has never even met. And I am talking about love, ja? The L word that Bollywood films thrive on. The girl also decides to fall in love with the bodyguard. He saves her, why wouldn't she? The rest doesn't really matter!

Who cares why the villains want to kill her? You better assume why or you will lag behind. The music from the Inception trailer swells up whenever Aditya Pancholi comes on screen to indicate ruthless villainy. If I get into plot details I will be taking up a mammoth task myself. The task of taking this utter piece of garbage even remotely seriously. All you girls who want a man to protect you, well, I hope you find better stories/ movies to fantasize about your very own fantasy bodyguard. Till then, do take note that your best friends, even the ones staying in your house all the time for no apparent reason CAN turn evil. They can ruin your love life forever and ever. The evil best friend will also pay the price though, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai style. So all you best friends out there, DO NOT and I seriously mean this, just do not fall in love with your BFF's bodyguard. You may get your "Dilwale Dhulaniya Le Jayenge" train scene but there is always a "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai" ending waiting for you and your friend.

But something that truly boggled my mind was the progressive villainy in this film. How do you kill a girl? Well, guns are boring. You get a radio-controlled helicopter and plant a bomb in it and chase the girl around! Now that's something "hatke" for the audience. I literally laughed all the way through the second half of the film, I just couldn't believe a film like this could be made. I was incredibly happy to see the audience collectively join in and laugh along when Raj Babbar had a panic attack while convincing the trusty Mr. Bodyguard to marry the girl. I truly had a life-changing film experience. I hope you did too, apart from that there is nothing else you could find in this movie which makes the Razzies look like the Oscars.

Rating: 

(No Stars)